Falling Into Pieces
by KazeNoSakura
Summary: He left without saying a word, not even a goodbye. Seven years later, he comes back to town in search for her but she's already moved on. Disaster strikes when they meet and Karin's life falls apart. Is it really too late? #1
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach

**A/N:** This story was inspired by **Kurt Kieser**'s **Breaking Up is Hard to Do**. It's an awesome story with my fav Mai-HiME pairing: TakumixAkira. If you love that couple, check out all of his stories because they're awesome!

**P.S.** This may be a little OOC, but it fits the mood of the story.

_Edited 16/09/2012_

* * *

**Emotional Rollercoaster**

Karin was devastated the moment she found out that _he_ left the world of the living without saying a word. She knew he must have had his reasons –he _always_ had his reason– but it didn't mean he had to be cruel about it. The two had become good friends over the short course of his stay, after all, so the least he could have done before he left was to see her one last time. But he didn't and that broke her heart.

She thought she could easily bounce back after a few months, but the more time she spent thinking of him, the more she felt herself deteriorating. Eventually she became distant, often staying out until very late without mentioning anything to her family and friends, and even skipped school. Karin wasn't herself anymore, and they wanted to help. But every time they tried to confront her, she would deny everything, claiming it was just a phase. It was difficult dealing with her. And one by one, they stopped caring all together, thinking that she'd eventually pull herself out of it.

Her younger twin, however, wasn't going to give up on her sister. In the past, Karin was always there for her. So this time it was Yuzu's turn to be there for her older sister. It was hard at first –Karin always liked to keep her feelings to herself– but after a long bout between sisters, she eventually broke down and cried in front of her younger twin. And like a mother, Yuzu held her as tight as she could and let her cry on her shoulder while she caressed Karin's back.

Soon enough, Karin slowly got out of her slump and went back to her regular old self.

_'It's time to move on,'_ she thought and decided to change her life around. No longer sulking over the tenth division captain, the renewed Karin devoted all of her energy and time on her studies and her soccer team. She stopped wearing her gym uniform unless she had physical education and started wearing the girls' skirt and blouse instead.

Over time, the recent changes had positive results, making her excel in not only her favourite sport where she became the star shooter, but also in her studies where she became the top student. On top of that, the guys in her class would actually gawk at her; the so-called tomboy that everyone thought was going to die alone.

But no matter how happy her life seemed, her heart still felt empty. So she began to use her popularity to her advantage and started dating to fill the void that still plagued her heart. To the boys' dismay, however, she would dump whoever she was currently dating and move on to her next victim after only three months –approximately the same length that _he _remained in the human world.

Every one of her male classmates feared her and avoided going out with her, everyone but the very popular Ren Kagayami. Despite knowing what she was capable of, the boy knew that she was only hurting inside. His mother went down a similar path and the result was tragic. He wasn't about to let another person go down that road. So without hesitation, he decided to take on the challenge of dating her.

Three months later, everyone expected them to break up. But for some reason, Karin couldn't find it in her to do it. Being with Ren was like a soothing light to her cold and damaged heart. There was no way she was going back.


	2. Chapter 1

_Edited 05/10/2012_

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**The Calm Before The Storm**

The game was tied two to two with only minutes before the referee blew his whistle. The star shooter was in position, waiting for her boyfriend to pass her the ball. He faked right, then left, waiting for the right opportunity to charge right through their defences.

It felt like hours before he finally found a way around his blocker and ran passed him as though his life depended on it. Once the raven-haired girl was in sight, he kicked the ball into the air and sent it flying towards her. The girl waited for its approach and jumped into the air seconds before it came her way.

The goalie observed where the ball was heading and jumped with his hands in the air. Unfortunately it wasn't enough and the ball grazed his fingers before making its way into the net. The whistle was blown and the game was finally over. Karakura High had won their third consecutive game.

"Nice one, Kurosaki!" said a teammate.

"Yeah, nice shot!" said another.

"You really showed 'em!" cheered someone else.

"Thanks guys!" she thanked, but then suddenly turned her attention elsewhere as she sensed an unwelcomed reiatsu in the area.

"You okay, Karin?" Ren asked. "Did _they_ appear?"

The girl in question turned to face her boyfriend and nodded. "Sorry Ren… You know I have to…"

"Go? Hey, don't worry about it," he replied with a smile. "Just don't get hurt with whatever you do, 'kay?"

Karin smiled back. "Thanks."

With her duffle bag slung around her right shoulder, Karin took off in the direction of the reiatsu.

As she arrived at her destination, the huge hollow was already mutilating one of the wandering souls.

"Damn it!" she cursed and mentally cringed as she watched the way it devoured it. "I didn't make it in time…"

No, she couldn't wallow in regret, not when she could use this opportunity to attack while its back was still facing her.

"You're dead!"

Without further hesitation, she removed her bokken (wooden sword) from her duffle bag and charged the monster head on. Moments before her sword made contact, however, the monster evaded the attack. She tried to attack again and again, but the huge hollow was just too quick for her.

Karin grumbled. If sneak attacks weren't going to work then she'd try the direct approach.

Waiting for its attack, the girl closed her eyes and concentrated on where it would strike next. The moment she felt it close enough, she jumped away and countered with an upward slice. The monster evaded her attacks once again, but this time followed up with the swipe of its claw. Karin blocked the blow as quickly as she could but failed to notice its tail following suite. Her wooden sword flew out of her hands and the beast wrapped its tail around her waist. She tried to struggle free but instead provoked it to tighten its grip.

'_Is this the end?'_ she wondered as she struggled to breathe.

No, she couldn't let that happen. Hell would have to freeze over first.

Gaining new determination, Karin unleashed her reiatsu and, for a second, took the thing by surprise. The huge hollow momentarily loosened its grip and she wriggled free, running straight for her weapon the moment she landed on the ground.

The monster roared. There was no way it was going to die by the hands of this pesky human. So as she ran, the hideous beast lunged.

The teen could tell that the monster was after her, and as it lunged she slid onto the ground, allowing the huge hollow to jump over her. Once she reached her weapon, she quickly jabbed it into its abdomen and watched it split in half from the neck down. The monster roughly landed on its side but minutes later began to piece itself together.

Karin knew she had to hurry. Even if she caused major damage to the hollow, she missed its mask which meant it had yet to be killed. She got up from her spot and reinforced the wooden weapon with her reiatsu. Tightening her grip around the bokken, she ran towards its body, ready to strike. But before she could even deal the final blow, a stream of ice covered the beast entirely, causing her to jump back.

Karin knew who was responsible for this but prayed she was wrong. The last thing she needed was to see that bastard again.

"Are you crazy?!" he yelled. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"

It was unusual seeing this white-haired shinigami so intact with his emotions, but she kept her cool.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked coldly. "You look like someone I know and sound a little like him, but I must be mistaken since the boy I'm referring to died seven years ago." She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was hurting inside. But it didn't mean that she had to stop. She had to make him suffer the same way he had made her.

Tōshirō was slightly taken aback by her sudden change in attitude. He knew he had hurt her all those years ago, but he figured she would have forgiven him by now. "I'm sorry, Karin. I was an idiot for doing that to you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Forgive you? Do you honestly expect me to forgive you just like that? To let it slide despite being hurt for all those years? Get real, Hitsugaya! This is the real world not some fantasy."

"Hold on—"

"No, I already did the waiting and I'm sick of it. So why don't you do us both the favour and go run your precious division."

And with that, Karin left before she broke down in tears.

Ω

The next day right after another soccer game, the star shooter went straight home, hoping that she wouldn't bump into _him_. Unfortunately, he was there but this time in his gigai wearing casual slacks and a black shirt.

"Karin, please," he begged, not caring if he sounded desperate, "just let me explain."

Deciding against her better judgement, she sighed heavily and replied, "You got five minutes."

"I know that I don't deserve you, but ever since I left I couldn't stop thinking about you. You're all I see, all I breathe. It's like I've only been living half alive."

"And your point is?" she questioned, unaffected by his words.

"My point?" he repeated, completely shocked by the outcome of her answer. Couldn't she see how hard it was for him to say that he loved her? That he had gone out of his way just so he could tell her? Why was she being so difficult? "Karin, don't you get it? I… I love you."

"You love me?" she repeated cruelly. "You love me? This has got to be some kind of a sick joke! You leave me for seven years without even saying so much as a goodbye and expect me to come back to you just because of those three words?" She couldn't take his lies any longer! She knew how much he and his childhood friend had gotten closer over the last of couple of years because of what Rukia had said. There was no way he loved her! "Ha! Keep dreaming, Hitsugaya!" she yelled and walked away.

But before she could leave, Tōshirō grabbed her arm.

"Let go…" she ordered.

"No."

"Let go…" she repeated, this time making her voice sound even nastier.

"No! I refuse to let go."

Knowing that the captain was stubborn, Karin decided to play the guilt card in spite of knowing how much it'd hurt her.

"It hurt when you left, you know. It hurt so much that I was falling apart." As the pain of him leaving her resurfaced, Karin couldn't help but silently cry. "I don't want to go through that again. I don't want to keep hoping that everything'll be alright. I just… I just want to be left alone…"

Tōshirō could hear the pain in her voice and could no longer restrain himself. "I'm sorry," he whispered and pulled her in a sweet embrace. "I'm so sorry…"

Lightly pulling her away, he lifted her chin and wiped away her tears. "I know you don't deserve this, least of all me. But… Forgive me," he pleaded and gently placed his lips over hers.

'_Forgive me?'_

It took all but one second to finally realize how wrong this was. Karin had a boyfriend, damn it! She couldn't kiss another guy no matter how badly she wanted it. She couldn't betray Ren's love, least of all for someone like Hitsugaya.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she yelled and pushed him away. "Did you seriously expect me to welcome you back into my life just because you kissed me? Because you _love _me? I have a boyfriend, Hitsugaya. Someone who actually loves me and will never betray me. You have Hinamori, don't you? Then you don't need me!"

"Hinamori? This has nothing to do with he—"

But she didn't want to hear it. Karin knew that if she did, she might break her resolve.

Honestly, she really didn't need this drama in her life, not when everything was going great.


	3. Chapter 2

_Edited 08/10/2012_

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**The Death That Could Have Been**

"Karin Kurosaki, can you explain why a teacher found this in your desk?" The principal opened his drawer and took out a stack of perfectly marked tests. "To think my number one student cheated her way to the top!"

Seriously?! Her principal was questioning her intelligence because of these tests he 'found' in her desk?

"Do you actually think that I would cheat?" Karin retorted. "I have better morals than that!"

"Whether I believe you or not does not omit the fact that I found this in _your _desk. I can't simply turn a blind eye, Kurosaki. This school has rules to follow and as principal, it's up to me to reinforce them." He sighed. "I have no choice but to expel you from Karakura High."

"I'm expelled?!" A heavy silence lingered in the room as Karin tried to swallow everything in. She was expelled for something she didn't do? Who in the world would frame her like that?

"You're a good kid, Kurosaki. I've seen you rise above everything you do. So I believe you when you say that you didn't do it. But the evidence is there. I can't ignore it no matter how much I want to."

She was almost afraid to ask if there was a solution around her expulsion, but did so anyway. There was no way she could make this any worst than it already was. "I-is there a way around it?"

"There is, but it cannot involve you directly."

So there was a way around this expulsion. She couldn't believe her luck!

"You'll have to get someone to prove your innocence. Maybe get your friends or sister to help out? It's the only way to do it since you wouldn't be allowed on school grounds."

"There's no way I'd ask them." She couldn't involve her family and close friends again. They had already suffered watching her fall apart once. If she had to ask again… Let just say that she'd rather die first than show them her vulnerability again.

"Then what do you propose I do?"

"There's nothing you can do." She sighed in defeat. "What about the soccer team? We still need one more win to qualify for Nationals."

"I guess I can give you that," the principal answered remorsefully. "You can play with whatever time you have left in today's game, but after that you have to leave."

"I understand."

Karin couldn't understand why this was happening to her, but she knew her situation was hopeless. She refused to let her family and close friends help her, and asking her other friends for help was out of the question. Most of them, if not all, were out to get her. Jealousy really was an ugly thing.

So deep in thought as she got out of the principal's office, Karin did not notice the group of girls heading her way until one of them pushed her against the wall.

"Watch where you're going, _Kurosaki_!" said a brunette. "We're trying to walk here!"

"Well excuse me for taking your space, your _highness_," she replied bitterly.

"Calm down, Kaoru," said a blonde with curls. "It's not her fault if she's at a loss of what to do next. Being expelled can be…overwhelming."

"Expelled?" How could that bimbo know she was expelled? It was as if she… "How did you know I was expelled?"

"Let's just say that a little birdie told me," she replied, smirking evilly.

She knew it! It was her that framed her. "It was all because of you!" Karin accused.

"And what if it was? You got what you deserved. Not only were you two-timing my Kagayami-sama, but you had the nerve to steal him away from me!"

"Two-timing? What are you talking about?"

"Don't act stupid," the blonde replied in disdain. "I saw you the other day while I was walking home from cheerleading practice. You were making out with this really hot white-haired guy. Well, he wasn't as hot as Kagayami-sama, but you get the point. Now you know not to mess with me."

Karin wanted nothing more than to strangle this girl with her own two hands, but she knew she couldn't. Even if it would have made her feel better, going to jail just wasn't worth it. So instead, she opted to walk away and headed to the soccer field. With some luck, she might make it back for the second half.

Ω

As soon as she was placed on the field, the star shooter dribbled the ball towards the opposite goal, ignoring her teammates along the way, and took a shot. The goalie dived, stopping it from entering his space, and kicked it all the way to the other side of the field so that his teammates could score. Everyone tried to make up for her mistake, but it was too late. The opposing team had scored and they were now leading by one point.

"Time out!" yelled the coach from Karakura High and all of the players huddled in a circle.

"There were three men open, Kurosaki," said the captain. "Why did you hog the ball?"

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I had so much going on in my head that I wasn't paying attention. It won't happen again."

"It better not or I'm taking you out of this game. You know we need this win."

Karin was shocked to hear his attitude. Sure her boyfriend was the captain and this was a crucial match, but it didn't mean that he had to be so hostile towards her.

"R-right!"

When the game resumed, Karin had the ball again and was ready to pass it to someone on her team. Only this time, she couldn't. Three men were on her tail, surrounding her in a triangle-like shape barrier.

"What the hell do you want?" she spat out angrily. She was in such a foul mood and did not need this at the moment.

"Just watch and see," said one of them and they tackled her from all three directions, making her fall and scrape her knees. "This is what you get for making us look bad."

Karin knew the players should have been called out or even given a red card, but no one stopped the game. She had wondered why until one of the three bastards spoke.

"Don't bother. We made sure to take care of them."

That was the last straw. Karin could no longer contain her anger and lunged at the closest bastard. She knew that the consequences were dire, but she didn't care. If they wanted to play dirty, then she might as well show them who they were messing with.

Suddenly, a whistle was blown. The girl knew what it meant but she couldn't stop. She just kept punching him and punching him until two of her teammates pried her off of him.

"I have no tolerance for violence, Kurosaki!" shouted the referee. "You're out!"

"What?"

"You heard me! Now get out of here!"

"Fine!" she replied and stormed out.

A few minutes later, the raven-haired girl heard a familiar voice and stopped.

"What's gotten into you, Kurosaki?"

A sigh a relief escaped her lungs when she realized who it was. Maybe she was just imagining how upset he was. "Hey Ren. I know it looks bad, but trust me when I say it's just been a long day."

"Anything you want to tell me about?"

"It's nothing, really. I just need to figure out some stuff on my own."

"Are you _sure_, Kurosaki?"

"Yeah, I'm sure…" she sceptically answered, finally realizing that her boyfriend was talking to her as if they were mere acquaintances. "Why do you keep calling me 'Kurosaki'? My name's Karin, remember? I'm your girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," he corrected and Karin's eyes widened with shock.

"I don't understand. W-what do you mean by ex-girlfriend?"

"It's been three days since I saw you with _him _and not once did you bother to explain. I can't believe you!"

"Him?" She couldn't believe it! Kami-sama! Please tell her he didn't see what she thought he saw. "I-it's not what you think… I wasn't—"

"Then why did you kiss him?!" he shouted and she flinched. "Was he an ex-boyfriend I never knew about? Or someone you couldn't be with? I thought we swore to each other that we'd tell the truth no matter how weird or painful it may seem. I can't believe that you would betray my trust like this."

"Ren…" She wanted to tell him that she'd never betray him and that it was just a mistake, but she couldn't find her voice.

He scoffed. "I'd say it was nice seeing you, but then I'd be lying."

As she watched him walk away, she couldn't help but wonder why her life was suddenly falling apart after that one kiss. Was someone punishing her for acting so cold towards Tōshirō? Was she finally passed her prime? She had no idea why and it was killing her inside.

_'I can't stay here,'_ she thought. '_I've got to get out of here.'_

And so she ran.

When she stopped, she found herself staring at the railing where she had invited Tōshirō to play on her soccer team, the place where Karakura's view of the sunset was at its best. She had no idea why she ended up there, but she didn't she care. Anywhere was good as long as she was alone.

At least she thought she was alone. As luck would have it, Karin felt a strong reiatsu and immediately fell to the ground.

"So this is where you've been hiding," said a voice. Karin looked up to see a humanoid hollow. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment." When he realized that she couldn't breathe, he released the pressure and waited for her to speak.

"Who are you…and what do you want from me?" Karin asked after catching her breath.

"I want payback for what you did to me four years ago."

"Payback?" she asked, confused. "I don't even know you!"

"How disappointing… Oh well, whether you remember me or not doesn't change the fact that I'm going to kill you." He tossed her a wooden sword and she caught it. "I hope you're strong because I won't hold back."

Karin was the first to move, attacking her opponent head on. The arrancar parried her blow and launched a counterattack. She backflipped away, trying her best to avoid his sword, but did not evade completely and received a shallow cut on her stomach. She clutched the wound, taking a few seconds to get used to the pain, and attacked again.

As the battle raged on, her opponent grew bored and finally released his reiatsu. Feeling the strong pressure, Karin immediately kneeled on the ground.

"Four years and you barely improved. What a shame. It's time for you to die, human." In an instant, her blood was splattered all over the pavement. "Any last words?" he asked, grinning maliciously.

She was sure that the monster was expecting her to beg for her life, but she honestly didn't care anymore. Now that her life was falling apart, she had nothing to live for. Her family could have been an exception, but she couldn't let them see how broken she felt. The last thing her family needed was to see her suffer again. So dying, in her opinion, would be the best thing that could happen.

Then again, life was a bitch and it never went the way you wanted it go.


	4. Chapter 3

_Edited 10/10/2012_

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**Rekindled Feelings**

"How are you feeling?" Tōshirō asked as her eyes fluttered open.

"I'm okay for the most part…" she replied, feeling the aftermath of her wounds. "But…" Karin faltered with her words at first, trying not to feel too resentful that he had saved her, but eventually asked, "…why did you save me? I…I was ready to die back there."

"Die? Why would you want to die? Do you want to forget about me that badly?"

She shook her head. "I'm just fed up with living. The pain of rejection, manipulation and betrayal… I'm done with all of it. I just…want a different life and what better way than to live in the Soul Society where you don't remember anything at all."

"So you had one bad day. Karin, life doesn't always go the way you plan it. It never does because that's how life is. It always surprises you when you least expect it, and it doesn't when you want something to happen. I'm sure that whatever you went through was nothing but a paper cut. Sure it must have been agonizing, but you'll heal. You _always_ do."

She knew he was right –he always was– but as stubborn as she was, Karin said nothing.

"What ever happened to that persevering girl I once knew?"

"Seven years is a lot of time to change," she answered bitterly, "though I'm sure it feels like nothing to a shinigami like you."

The tenth division captain sighed. "I really am sorry for what had happened, Karin. Maybe if I had arrived sooner, you could have avoided all of this."

As she remained silent, her eyes bore into his, wondering what he meant. Was he saying sorry for what had just happened or from seven years ago? Either way, it wasn't as if it was his entire fault. Granted he did cause her a lot of pain in the past, but she was the one that let it break her apart. Even now, she was the one that was letting the bitch's words as well as the break-up get to her. So why was he taking all the blame?

"It's not your fault," Karin finally said after a moment of silence. "I should be the one to apologize. You've done nothing wrong but ask for forgiveness and save me from death. And how do I repay you? By yelling at you for something you clearly feel sorry for."

"You had every righ—"

"No, I didn't," she replied gently and reached for his hand. "I really didn't."

There was a slight pause before Karin decided that she wasn't going to talk to him while lying down anymore. Her next thoughts were important and it didn't feel right to ask while she was feeling helpless.

Karin cringed in pain as she lifted herself up from the floor. The wounds were still fresh despite Tōshirō's light patch up job.

"You shouldn't get up," he insisted and stopped her before she reopened her wounds. "You were so badly bruised by the time I arrived… I don't know much about healing spells except for the very basic ones. I did what I could, but y—"

"I'm alright," the teen assured him. "I'm not as fragile as you may think."

"I know." Tōshirō smiled inwardly, glad that she was warming up to him again, and helped her sit up. "Out of all the days, I can't believe that idiot shopkeeper decided to take a vacation." He had mostly said that to himself rather then to Karin, but she heard him nonetheless and laughed.

"Urahara-san is never there when you want him to be, yet always there when you don't."

The captain couldn't help but join in with a light chuckle after hearing her words. He really did miss spending time with her.

"So, Tōshirō," she began after the laughter subsided, "do you think you could tell me why you left? I never did let you explain."

Hearing Karin call him by his first name again made him happy, but he knew he couldn't stay with her. Even if she was now willing to forgive him, he thought that after everything he truly didn't deserve her. He made a decision to leave her the second he was done explaining.

"As soon as we had won the war, I wanted to be the first one to tell you all about it. How there wouldn't be as much danger anymore, or how I'd try to visit you whenever I could. But the captain-commander ordered us to return to our world so that we could bury the friends we had lost and recuperate. I couldn't do much because he was my superior. It had to be done.

"It took seven years before everything was back to normal. Granted there was still some damage leftover, but the worst had been dealt with. So we were free from the hard labour of fixing the Soul Society.

"Matsumoto was already planning a post-winter war party when she overheard from the captain-commander's lieutenant that he needed someone to patrol the world of the living. She immediately told me about it and I quickly jumped at the chance even if the job only required a seated officer. He was hesitant at first, but I would not let up. And after persisting for so long, he finally agreed."

Karin was flabbergasted. To think that she had been jealous over nothing, livid for all the wrong reasons. Now it was her turn to feel ashamed.

"I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry. I never meant for any of this happen."

"No, this is all my fault. I thought you were in… No, that doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm sorry for being mad. I'm sorry for…everything."

"I'm just glad you're alright," he replied, giving her one last look before getting up.

"Where are you going?" Panic struck her heart. No, he couldn't leave her. He had asked for forgiveness, didn't he? And she forgave him, didn't she? So he had to stay. He just had to!

"Now that you're safe and the arrancar has been dealt with, I must take my leave."

'Don't leave me,' she wanted to say. 'I want you to stay. I love you.' But she couldn't find her voice no matter how hard she tried. And it wasn't until he disappeared did she finally manage to choke out, "Wait!"

Her head hung low as her bangs shadowed her eyes. She couldn't believe it. He was right there and she let him slip through the cracks. How could she have been so stupid?

Karin tightened her fists in misery and silently cried. _'Idiot,'_ she thought. _'Your tears won't bring him back.'_

Suddenly, strong arms wrapped themselves around her slump figure. "I've always told myself that you deserved someone better. But I can't leave you. Not now, not ever."

Karin wiped away her tears and smiled, saying, "I love you too," before turning around and claiming his lips.

After all of that crap, something _finally_ went right.


End file.
